FAMILY UPDATE - kinda long

Update – Wow life has been busy! Sometimes I think that we are gone more that we are home. This month is already jam packed with life! Doug and I are doing the best we can. His health hasn’t improved like we had hoped so the doctors have taken him off his medication since he hasn’t seen any results that they were expecting. He has gone from a hard working man being able to work hard to not having enough strength to function every day. His diet basically consists of Ensure and Gatorade that I usually have to open for him because its hard for him now. He will go in for a CAT Scan on the 10th to double check his insides before making a decision to put a permanent IV in his arm for stronger medication and possibly further testing since there is a lot going on with his body right now. We still try and do things as a family and live life as normal as possible. I am hoping for a date night soon.

I love my hubby so much! (even if he is sick j/k)

Doug and I are both starting school this fall. He is going into Wildlife Science to work for the DWR and I am going for a RN – nursing degree. Stetson is growing just as fast as the weeds in my garden. His personality is showing more and I love every minute of it. He likes to do things that he thinks is funny. He loves being “side” and playing in water. Stetson has been in nursery for a little while now and loves it. Doug has just been called to be the 1st Counselor in the Elder’s Quorum and I solo now teaching the 5 year olds. I love my family so much! They make me so happy.

I feel so grateful to have the gospel in my life. With so many uncertain circumstances all around us, the gospel is the one thing that will never change and we will always have Heavenly Fathers love and guidance if we allow him in our life. Although I have gone through trials that aren’t always easy and I don’t understand everything or why life has to be the way it is, I know without a doubt that I am not alone. That my Father in Heaven has plan for me and my family whatever may come. And that no matter what happens; the Lord will always be there by my side as long as I follow the guidance given to us.
There are days when, Doug’s health doesn’t look very good which is depressing for him as well as me and unfortunately I am unable to do anything for him, especially if I am at work. That causes me to get spread thin and worn out because of the stress of his health and additional chores since he is unable, bills I don’t know how are going to get paid and then we receive an unexpected check in the mail, a baby that wants “ma ma ma ma ma” to hold him while I am trying to cook dinner and clean the house and the stresses of trying to keep up with life and feeling like I have no one to talk to or no one that understands. Life can get stressful and I know that I am not perfect, but I still try to live day by day with a smile on my face to be strong for my family and wait for whatever else may come our way. I know that my trials given to me everyday are picked out especially for me. I know that as long as I do all that I can, I then can turn the rest over to my Heavenly Father and we will be taken care of one way or another. I know that with the help of my Savior I will be able to make it through it, day by day because he can see the whole picture and has a better understanding.
We may not be able to control what live brings our way, we do have control how we accept it into our lives. When looking at the world around us there are so many uncertain factors. The media seems to focus on the “bad” in the world, but there are also so many “good” things happening in this world, if we would only focus on those things and find hope. I am so thankful for my family and the joy that they bring into my life. I am thankful for my son who is busy and gets into everything; otherwise I might be a coach potato. I am grateful for the beautiful temples. I am thankful for the peaceful spirit that is there and the opportunity we have to perform sacred ordinances there. I am thankful for the power of prayer and that we are able to receive revelation. I am thankful for a worthy priesthood holder to be the head of our home. I am so thankful to know such caring people in my ward that surprise me with a clean home when I come back from vacation or dinner after Doug has been getting medical treatment, or a card or gift on my porch. I am grateful for our bishop, he always seems to know what to do or say to help lift my day. He is a wonderful man. I am thankful for the rain that makes things so green and pretty and to feel the sunshine on my face. I am thankful for my health and that I am able to do so much to service my family and friends. I am thankful for the scriptures and the knowledge and understanding it gives me. There are so many good things in this world if we only look for them.
Although we still have our hopes high and try to stay positive, we know that we are not in charge and we can only prepare for what life might bring us next and enjoy the journey that we are on together. I hope and pray that I might be able to endure the trials that have been picked out especially for me in a manner that is pleasing unto my father in heaven, that he might say to me “Well done, thou good and faithful servant”.
Over recent events I have had the opportunity to reflect on life in general and my life specifically and how fragile it can be. I received an unexpected phone call at work that my younger brother was probably not going to make it. Not knowing many details of what had happened or what would happen, I said a prayer to my father in heaven that I might be comforted and know what I could do for my brother and family. I felt such a warm confirmation come over me of my heavenly fathers love, of my brother’s love and that everything was going to be ok either way. I know that this is what helped me get through the following days. I know that the lord is in charge of our lives. I know that, as my brother lay there on life support, it could have gone either way. I am so thankful for all of the time that the lord allowed Clayson in our lives and the joy that he brought. I am thankful for the knowledge that he is in a better place and that we can see him again and that he is watching over us every day. I know that he is happy now and I can see him making everyone around him smile and laugh just like he did here. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for him and I hope that he is being used to the fullest on the other side. It was amazing to see the love and the support from family friends and family.
Although this was a very hard thing for my family, and we still love Clayson and will miss him dearly, our family has grown so much because of it. The family unity is such a strong bond. We are closer and appreciate the family unity as a whole so much more now. We can see the love and support that we can offer one another and the friendship we all have to give. We were there to lean on each other, to cry on each other, laugh at the home videos he made and celebrate his life. We are not afraid to squeeze each other tight and express our love for one another, because you never know when the next opportunity will be. I love my family so much. I would strongly suggest never taking your family for granted. Make sure that they know how much you love them and hug them.
Because of this experience, I have had the opportunity to reflect on the plan of salvation and the atonement. I know that my savior lives and has felt every pain, and I know that my brother was not alone, because the Savior has felt every pain and agony that we ever experience. I know that he is the one that understands completely.
To me, it seems as though the veil between heaven and earth has been very thin during occasions dealing with life whether it be birth or death and it brings such a special spirit. I remember holding my little boy for the first time. I could feel his little spirit and knew that he was sent from a loving heavenly father. Although, it was hard to lose my brother, it was so comforting to be able to feel comforted by the spirit accompanied by the knowledge that there is a heaven and that this is not the beginning or the end. It was such a beautiful event to be able to experience with my family. I am grateful that we were able to have such a spiritual experience with such a strong conformation that there is a god!